My team was trying to organize a B-side scrimmage at the Four Leafs tournament. There were about 60 clubs in total, mainly from New York, Connecticut, and Massachusetts. It was twenty-two degrees outside, next to the river, and very windy.
At one point I muttered "Fuck you planet Earth."
A teammate said, "Would you rather play in Jamaica?"
"Jamaica the country or, uh, Jamaica, like, the city?"
"I wouldn't mind that."
"Yeah, but it would be so hot we'd lose twenty pounds of sweat every time we played."
Eventually a match was scheduled with the team from Turks and Caicos--who, to my surprise, were actually scheduled in this tournament. We predicted we would have the elemental advantage, because they were, in fact, coming from an island in the Caribbean.