Monday, October 24, 2016

Top with Wink! Or Die!

I subscribe to the Wink ice cream YouTube channel.  They appeared on Shark Tank a year ago and were derided because their product tastes like crap.  I tried it myself.  Guess what?  It does taste like crap.  

Wink is owned by husband and wife Gabe and Ani.  They're, like, a couple of yuppies.  (I don't know if that's the right term.)  But they keep uploading these cooking videos in which Ani bakes desserts, and we see step-by-step instructions for how to make donuts, or cupcakes.  But then, the final step of EVERY single recipe is:"Top with Wink."

Why would you ruin a perfectly-good dessert every time?  No one watches these videos, by the way.  They get like 30 views each.  Gordon Ramsey could shill an omelette maker and get half a million views, and they're stuck on 30.

Can you imagine being a guest at their home for dinner?  And after the main course, you get served a delicious-looking dessert.  Then you tense wait for it coming?  Yes, it's coming.  Ani disappears to the kitchen and comes back a minute later with 5 pints of Wink.  "And now...we top with Wink!"  Everyone screams in terror and runs out the door.

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